My guide to losing weight

It's 4.40am, and I can't sleep due to jetlag, having just returned home to Singapore from the UK a couple of days ago. And I suddenly had an epiphany (slight exaggeration) that I felt I ought to share with the world.
It turns out that there is a way to lose weight, or at least not gain weight, even if one is lazy. The key is to have a strong desire for nice teeth.
So everyone knows eating not long before you sleep is not good for you. At night, your body's metabolic rate slows down, so it won't have time to burn the calories of the food you took in. It gets converted to fat instead. A typical sign of a serial supper eater (that's the post-dinner meal, and not dinner itself, for any British readers out there) is a nice round tummy on an otherwise healthy-looking frame.
Like many others, I too have this penchant for snacking before sleeping. These late night World Cup/Wimbledon viewing sessions have not helped the cause. And so in my insomnia tonight, my hunger pangs struck of course. Big time. But, I managed to control myself from eating. Why? Because I had brushed my teeth. And more importantly, because I had already flossed.
See, that, ladies and gentleman, is the key to solving the obesity problem in developed countries. Have kids develop really good dental hygiene habits, and make them as meticulous as possible.
I'm quite thorough in my flossing, taking usually 10 minutes to complete flossing my 28 teeth (4 gone from wisdom teeth extraction). So even though as I'm typing this, my stomach is screaming out in need for the ice cream in the freezer as badly as Tom Cruise needs a hit movie to salvage his career (see: Knight and Day flopping), I resisted. Simply because I thought: I'd have to go through the whole damn process of brushing and flossing again. Too tedious. No way. I get to remain svelte. Yay!
Folks, there you have it. A combination of discipline (to floss nightly) + laziness (to not want to go through the hassle of 10 min of flossing more than once each night) ensures you and your child gets to be slim and trim (and have clean teeth!). Yay again!

[Liability escape clause: This weight loss method has not been endorsed by the FDA. The author shall not be responsible for any grumpiness caused in adherence to the above plan. Results may vary for individuals.]