My guide to losing weight

It's 4.40am, and I can't sleep due to jetlag, having just returned home to Singapore from the UK a couple of days ago. And I suddenly had an epiphany (slight exaggeration) that I felt I ought to share with the world.
It turns out that there is a way to lose weight, or at least not gain weight, even if one is lazy. The key is to have a strong desire for nice teeth.
So everyone knows eating not long before you sleep is not good for you. At night, your body's metabolic rate slows down, so it won't have time to burn the calories of the food you took in. It gets converted to fat instead. A typical sign of a serial supper eater (that's the post-dinner meal, and not dinner itself, for any British readers out there) is a nice round tummy on an otherwise healthy-looking frame.
Like many others, I too have this penchant for snacking before sleeping. These late night World Cup/Wimbledon viewing sessions have not helped the cause. And so in my insomnia tonight, my hunger pangs struck of course. Big time. But, I managed to control myself from eating. Why? Because I had brushed my teeth. And more importantly, because I had already flossed.
See, that, ladies and gentleman, is the key to solving the obesity problem in developed countries. Have kids develop really good dental hygiene habits, and make them as meticulous as possible.
I'm quite thorough in my flossing, taking usually 10 minutes to complete flossing my 28 teeth (4 gone from wisdom teeth extraction). So even though as I'm typing this, my stomach is screaming out in need for the ice cream in the freezer as badly as Tom Cruise needs a hit movie to salvage his career (see: Knight and Day flopping), I resisted. Simply because I thought: I'd have to go through the whole damn process of brushing and flossing again. Too tedious. No way. I get to remain svelte. Yay!
Folks, there you have it. A combination of discipline (to floss nightly) + laziness (to not want to go through the hassle of 10 min of flossing more than once each night) ensures you and your child gets to be slim and trim (and have clean teeth!). Yay again!

[Liability escape clause: This weight loss method has not been endorsed by the FDA. The author shall not be responsible for any grumpiness caused in adherence to the above plan. Results may vary for individuals.]

Just a game?

So I read Herman and Chomsky's Manufacturing Consent for my tutorial, and while researching for my essay, also visited Chomsky's website where I read several interviews he gave about the book.

This was a very interesting excerpt:
_______________________________________________________________

QUESTION: When we talk about manufacturing of consent, whose consent is being manufactured?

CHOMSKY: To start with, there are two different groups...One is what's sometimes called the political class. There's maybe twenty percent of the population which is relatively educated, more or less articulate, plays some kind of role in decision-making. They're supposed to sort of participate in social life -- either as managers, or cultural managers like teachers and writers and so on. They're supposed to vote, they're supposed to play some role in the way economic and political and cultural life goes on. Now their consent is crucial. So that's one group that has to be deeply indoctrinated. Then there's maybe eighty percent of the population whose main function is to follow orders and not think, and not to pay attention to anything -- and they're the ones who usually pay the costs.

He then continues:

Now there are other media too whose basic social role is quite different: it's diversion. There's the real mass media-the kinds that are aimed at, you know, Joe Six Pack -- that kind. The purpose of those media is just to dull people's brains.

This is an oversimplification, but for the eighty percent or whatever they are, the main thing is to divert them. To get them to watch National Football League.... Take, say, sports -- that's another crucial example of the indoctrination system, in my view. For one thing because it -- you know, it offers people something to pay attention to that's of no importance. [audience laughs] That keeps them from worrying about -- [applause] keeps them from worrying about things that matter to their lives that they might have some idea of doing something about. And in fact it's striking to see the intelligence that's used by ordinary people in [discussions of] sports [as opposed to political and social issues]... You know, I remember in high school, already I was pretty old. I suddenly asked myself at one point, why do I care if my high school team wins the football game? [laughter] I mean, I don't know anybody on the team, you know? [audience roars] I mean, they have nothing to do with me, I mean, why I am cheering for my team? It doesn't mean any -- it doesn't make sense. But the point is, it does make sense: it's a way of building up irrational attitudes of submission to authority, and group cohesion behind leadership elements -- in fact, it's training in irrational jingoism. That's also a feature of competitive sports.
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I thought my coming across Chomsky's insight was really timely given the FIFA World Cup that's just started (and that fact that I just gushed all about Man Utd in a previous post), and the jingoistic fervour and excitement that accompanies it. Ever since reading the above, every time I get my entertain/sports news fix, I think to myself: I'm part of the brainwashed, depoliticized, dumb-ass 80% of the populace. Gulp.

Kenny made a really funny point when I shared this finding to him. This system of distraction was essentially the same one the Romans employed for their citizens - think the Gladatorial activities, which were also meant to divert the citizens' attention away from the problems the Empire might be facing.

The big difference between us and the Romans, however, is that while the Romans got to enjoy their Gladatorial sports for free (entry into the colisseums was free. Bread was given out for free at the shows too), we modern-day dumb-asses actually shell out a lot of hard-earned money to get entertained. The powers that be don't even need to entice us with freebies.

Oh, how we've regressed. LOL.

Toilet Debate settled: Up or Down

I found this and just thought I should post it: It's an economics paper by a Michigan State Uni professor. The link is here. But here's the abstract:

This paper develops an economic analysis of the toilet seat etiquette, that is, whether the toilet seat should be left up or down. I investigate whether there is any efficiency justification for the presumption that men should leave the toilet seat down after use. I find that the “down rule” is inefficient unless there is a large degree of asymmetry in the inconvenience costs of shifting the position of the toilet seat across genders. I show that the “selfish” or the “status quo” rule that leaves the toilet seat in the position used dominates the down rule in a wide range of parameter spaces including the case where the inconvenience costs are the same. The analysis can be applied to other shared facilities that can be customized to each user’s preference.

Here's the evidence you need, guys out there who live/ share bathrooms with women or anyone who insists that the toilet seat should always be down. Just sayin'.
To be fair, I share a flat now with 4 gals, so this analysis doesn't work in my case given the asymmetry in inconvenience costs. Sucks for me!

华语 Cool

I've told some friends this, but for some reason, I've grown to appreciate Chinese, whether as a language or as a culture, so much more since I've been overseas for school. I mean, I was never one of the those 'too cool for Mandarin' type of 'banana' Chinese Singaporeans who sneered at those who were not fluent in English and spoke the 'Cheena' language (I saw so many in my course in poly). I speak Mandarin at home, come from a Chinese secondary school, listen to Mandopop, and twice participated in Chinese freakin' poetry recital competitions! But I was still very much Anglo-leaning, in that I craved and consumed mostly Western pop culture, spoke mostly English outside of home, and of course, wanted to head to a Western country for uni. I prided myself in being reasonably bilingual, but the relationship I had with Chinese was one more of utility.

My opinion changed when i headed to the U.S. Somehow, being submerged totally in English became really limiting, even slightly oppressive. And I found myself listening so much more to Chinese music. Stefanie Sun I already loved, but I think the musical love of my college life has to be Tanya Chua (More on her music in an upcoming post, soon, hopefully). I paid closer attention to the lyrics and really grew to appreciate the poetry of it. I youtubed Taiwanese variety shows to watch occasionally. I reveled in heading to Chinatown and getting to speak or try to speak Cantonese everywhere I went. I felt humbled whenever I'd attempt to speak Mandarin to Chinese internationals, but I was always keen to try (The best is this year, where I got to know this American student who's incredibly fluent in Mandarin, and participated in those international Mandarin debates for non-native speakers representing Yale. Wow, I was so humbled by his knowledge of Chinese idioms!)

Also, coming from a young country, I was amazed at the history of New York, just in its architecture for example. The gorgeous brownstones certainly have so much more character than our HDBs! Of course, America was the minor league when I got to Oxford. How utterly mind-blowing it was to see these grand colleges, all built when Singapore was, as we know so well from history textbooks, a mere fishing village! But my point is that seeing all this history in the U.S and especially here in the U.K., I found myself thinking about how as amazing as all of it was, China's got 5000 years worth of history! Beat that, suckers! hah. I don't know, I guess it just brought to me clarity on how deep Chinese history and culture is, and I find myself now wanting to visit China really badly.

This year, I've been reading so much about the Enlightenment in relation to my politics tutorials, and to read of all these thinkers and their universalised theories of good/right and sit in class hearing my tutor talk about them like they're the be all and end all of political theory... I don't know, it irked me slightly because I just felt all of it were developments in reaction to very culturally specific historical occurrences and thus cannot or should not claim to speak for all of men... (ugh, I swear, this made more sense going through my head during tutorial!) I guess my point is that it made me want to find out if Chinese philosophy provided any counter-points, especially since it developed in such different conditions compared to the Western Judeo-Christian world (I'm sure other non-Occidental cultures, like the Islamic world, have really different ideas too)!

Perhaps this new-found appreciation of all things Chinese occurred because something that becomes rare always becomes more valuable. Perhaps it was because once away from Singapore, one can break free from the negative socioeconomic connotations of the language (Ang mo pai4 vs'cheena piang' is essentially cosmopolitan vs heartlander recast in linguistic terms, no?). Perhaps it's because going to places where a lot of people are monolingual, one develops pride in being able to speak two languages. Perhaps it's because, in line with the previous statement, it feels shiok to be able to have fun with friends and shout vulgarities in Chinese in foreign countries without anyone else knowing what we're saying. Whatever it is, I'm glad because it has allowed me to appreciate the language and to want to explore the culture so much more.

I've tried taken concrete steps to do so. For the last summer vacation, I had quite a reading spree, if anyone who follows me on Twitter would notice (how I flatter myself!). I think I read something like 15 books in those four months. And I wanted to read some Chinese books actually. I remember Michael Pollan's The Omnivore's Dilemma was constantly out on loan in the library, but the Chinese one was available, so I thought: Hey, why not! But I soon gave up =( It seems like 99% of the books in Chinese are printed the up-down, right-left way, which I found so difficult to get through! So, fail for me on that attempt. For now though, I'll just continue to listen to my Mandopop and marvel at the lyrical wonders of Xiao Han, and continue to hone my Cantonese skills at Chinese provision shops/restaurants. I promise though that this summer, I [i]will[/i] get through at least one book in Chinese! I just need to search harder for one that reads from left to right! The pilgrimage to ancestral lands will have to wait a bit though, as I'm not sure when I'll have the money to do so! Ah, I so regret not doing the Beijing Olympics...

Addendum: As much as I've waxed lyrical about the beauty of Chinese and all here, I'm not of Camp 'All Chinese S'poreans should be able to speak Mandarin, if not shame on you". It's cool if you don't, you just don't need to look down on people who do. I do recognise the fact that Mandarin is in no way inherent to Chinese S'poreans. Like all things on our island, the assertion of Mandarin as our 'native' mother tongue was very much engineered by our leaders to achieve their desired social/political goals.

A Penny for Them Thoughts

I had some (probably less than original) thoughts about the racial and religious composition of the Singaporean community in Oxford (and by extrapolation, Cambridge as well) and its implications and prognostications. But I decided to impose on myself the much-discussed OB markers (real or imagined? still up in the air?) and shut my trap.

In other news, I'm looking forward to Easter break, and more traveling.

Prescient statement from a great POTUS

“We have always known that heedless self-interest was bad morals. We know now that it is bad economics.”

Frankin D. Roosevelt during the Great Depression, on enacting the New Deal.

Hear, hear!

A whole lotta walkin'

It's funny how one does things abroad one would never do at home - visiting museums, for instance. I think I've been to the Singapore Art Museum maybe once, and some exhibitions at the Science Centre as a kid, if that counts. I haven't even been to the Singapore History Museum!

But since coming over to the States, I've been to quite a number of museums.
There's the Metropolitan Museum of Art and the Museum of Modern Art in NYC of course. Then, there's the Isabella Gardner Museum in Boston, the Musée des Ursulines in Quebec City. But this year especially, I've been to so many, probably because a lot of them have free admission, that it's kinda crazy!

On my weekend trip to Pittsburgh over winter break, I visited:
The Carnegie Museums - Museum of Art and Museum of Natural History (free thanks to Weiyi's CMU student pass!)
The Andy Warhol Museum

Spring break trip to D.C. and Philly:
D.C.:
Smithsonian Museums (There're like 100 Smithsonian museums in D.C., all of which have free admission. Really really cool) - National Museum of American History, National Air & Space Museum, National Gallery of Art, National Museum of the American Indian, National Museum of Natural History, Holocaust Museum
International Spy Museum (the most pricey of them all at $18. Ouch!)
Philly:
The Philadelphia Museum of Art
Philadelphia Institute of Contemporary Art
Chemical Heritage Foundation (this one was really random. My friend and I just wanted to pass some time before our bus back to NYC, so we just wandered in to this, as it was near our hostel. It was free, and so we got a crash course in the history of chemistry. lol)

I think my favs out of the lot are MoMA, the Andy Warhol Museum, the Holocaust Museum and the Museum of American History. Also, art-wise, I realise that I find old European art really boring, because it's 99.30492% depictions of Biblical stuff - Jesus on the cross, the Virgin Mary visited by Gabriel or some other angel, Jesus in front of the Roman Emperor - you get the picture. I understand - that was the zeitgeist of the time, so of course artists would be commissioned to produce such works, but there're only so many variations of the crucification you can see before Zzzz... For old stuff, Asian art is more interesting for me. But of course, contemporary art is still the best - for the cool factor (even if it is mostly incomprehensible to me), or the WTF factor (seen most commonly in video or installation works. I recall one in the Carnegie Museum of Art where the room was filled with balls kept afloat by strong fans and then you walk into the room. The interaction of human and ball, whether you touched them or tried to avoid them, explained some sort of relationship between human and space. Or something.)

So new resolution: Visit the friggin' history museum when I get home in the summer!
and btw, museum visiting is ridiculously tiring, thanks to the amount of walking one has to do!

It's all relative, baby.

We interrupt this ridiculously long blogging hiatus to comment on something I read on the NYT website today (and also to continue procrastination whilst trying to write this 15 page term paper).

Cholera Is Raging, Despite Denial by Mugabe
"Inflation officially hit 231 million percent in July, but John Robertson, an independent economist in Zimbabwe, estimates that it has now surged to an astounding eight quintillion percent — that is an eight followed by 18 zeros."

Jeez.
My suitemate and I were discussing how this, plus the genocide in Congo and other assorted violations of human rights in Africa, make the recession and upcoming depression seem rather trivial, which in turn makes having to complete writing X number of papers in Y number of days look like a vacation in *insert appropriate beachfront holiday destination of choice*.

Onwards with writing then, perspective firmly in mind.

How come my school didn't do this

Texas university giving freshmen iPhones and iPod touches

By Justin Berka | Published: February 26, 2008 - 04:57PM CT

Schools and universities are often big fans of Apple products, which usually translates to labs and laptop carts full of Macs. Educational institutions across the country have also started to provide students with personal laptops. Louisiana recently launched a program to distribute MacBooks to elementary school students, and now Abilene Christian University in Texas is getting into the act as well. But rather than handing out MacBooks, the university will be distributing iPhones and iPod touches to all incoming freshmen.

ACU began exploring uses for mobile devices in the summer of 2007 and ran a pilot study with faculty and and educational technology developers to determine how the iPhone could be used by students. The group came up with quite a few uses for the devices, devising more than 15 iPhone applications that they hoped will be useful to students. These applications include homework alerts, in-class surveys, directions to classrooms and offices, and meal balance information, just to name a few.

The iPhone and iPod touch program is a direct result of the study, and the usage patterns of the incoming freshman class will shape future mobile device programs at ACU. The school is also considering other ways to integrate technology and education. CIO Kevin Roberts made a recent presentation to Apple and a number of other institutions (including most of the Ivy League) about the iPhone programs, so perhaps more schools will follow suit in the future.

The Diverse Expression of Sexuality

Found these two stories off a forum. Quite lol-worthy, I think.

Cops: Man Caught in Hospital Necrophilia Act

By DAVID SCHOETZ
Oct. 30, 2007

A 24-year-old New York City man remains jailed after he was found allegedly having sex with a 92-year-old woman's corpse inside the morgue of the hospital where he worked.

Anthony Merino, who works as a lab technician at Holy Name Hospital in Teaneck, N.J., was arrested Sunday after police responded to a call from a security guard at the hospital. The guard reported witnessing the lab technician sexually desecrating the woman's dead body, according to police.

"This is a first," Lt. Dean Kazinci, spokesman for the Teaneck, N.J., police, told ABC News. "When you think you've heard and seen it all, something like this happens."

Kazinci said the security guards at the hospital told police that they caught Merino in the act of necrophilia. They transported Merino to the police station, he said, and charged him after conducting a police interview.

A spokesman for Holy Name Hospital released a statement to ABC News calling the allegations a "heinous crime."

"We are horrified and saddened for the family of the patient and are completely empathic and sympathetic to them," the statement reads.

Merino had only been working at the hospital for 14 days, according to the statement, and had passed a criminal background check before he was offered the job. The hospital also notified the dead woman's next of kin after contacting authorities.

Merino was arraigned Monday on a charge of desecrating human remains, a second degree crime in New Jersey. A judge set bail at $400,000 with conditions that included Merino surrendering his passport and submitting to a psychological evaluation. He faces a maximum of 10 years in prison, if convicted.

In addition to working part time at Holy Name Hospital, Merino also had a part-time job as a histology technician at Overlook Hospital in Summit, N.J.

Janina Scheytt Hecht, a spokeswoman for Overlook Hospital, confirmed that Merino worked for the hospital from Sept. 10, 2007, until Monday. "He has been terminated," Hecht said, adding that Merino was subject to a background check there before he was hired. She also said no one had filed a complaint against him during his short tenure on the staff.

Necrophilia is a psychological condition that falls under the umbrella category of paraphilia, according to Michael Fogel, the chair of the forensic psychology department at the Chicago School of Professional Psychology. Paraphilia involves fantasies and sexual urges in which people are aroused by nonhuman objects or pain or humiliation of oneself or a sexual partner.

"It's an extraordinarily rare condition, but it's also a very real condition," said Fogel, who previously served as the director of the Sex Offender Evaluation Unit for the Illinois Department of Corrections. In more than 1,500 evaluations he performed in that role, he said, not one involved the condition of necrophilia.

Fogel said the psychological exam will be critical to understanding what type of risk Merino may pose. He also cautioned against simply calling the suspect, if he is, in fact, convicted of the crime, "nuts."

In these type of cases, it's a sexual attraction that the individual has," he said. "That's what they're aroused to, it's what they have sexual fantasies about."

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Bike sex man placed on probation

Cleaners caught Mr Stewart simulating sex with a bike

A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation.

Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex.

Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years.

Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr.

Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who called police.

Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a 'cycle-sexualist'."

Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.

The bachelor had been living in the hostel since October 2006 after moving from his council house in Girvan.

He now lives in Ayr.

I kinda pity the guy in the second story though. I mean, sure what he did was different, but he did it in the privacy of his own room, with a non-living thing. I don't see any harm being inflicted on anybody? It'd be like arresting someone for self-pleasuring with a dildo (Or, worse, something like a cucumber which is a living thing!), no?

No Walk in the Park

Monday: Powerwalked in the cold the 25-30min round trip to the HSBC bank nearest to school to do banking. Turned out the bank was closed because it was Veteran's Day.

Today: Powerwalked in the cold and fading light at about 4.15pm the 25-30min round trip to the HSBC bank nearest to school to do banking. Turned out the bank closed at 4.00pm.

*Shoots self*

The classroom isn't always walled

For some reason, my American Politics class was locked out of our classroom last Friday (Apparently, our teacher was supposed to call security to get the room opened every time, but she didn't do that). The solution? Thanks to the still summer-like days, we had class outdoors on the grass next to the classroom building instead.

Our teacher sat on the ledge while the rest sat, in various positions, on the grass facing her. About halfway through, one student got up, moved to another patch of grass, laid flat down with his stomache facing the ground, lit up a ciggie and began enjoying his puffs.

Meanwhile, our discussion continued unabated.

Ring, Ring, Ring Goes that Ol' School Bell

Well, there obviously aren't any school bells on campus, but it's so interesting, to me at least, to see scenarios so often depicted in movies/TV come to life in front of your eyes.

I've always been amazed at how, in movies/TV, kids in school rush out of the class the minute the bell rings, while the teacher shouts something like "Remember, pop quiz tommorow!" to no one in particular as most have already zoomed out of the class. How rude!

Well, it's sorta how it is in real life!

Say a class ends at 11. Even though the professor might still be explaining crucial stuff, at 1055, students are already stuffing paper into their folders, packing their bags, etc. One even got up, pulled his chair back in, and stood there basically waiting for the official dismissal before zooming off. And the professor doesn't feel offended or feel that it's rude that students are doing all of these even whilst she's still teaching. Fascinating!

As such, I'm usually among the last few out of the class because I wait for the word of dismissal before scooping up my stuff. Seems like the polite thing to do, I suppose.

Artificial Constructs (Shoutout!)

It was two Fridays ago that the group of us celebrated Ashley's birthday in a surprise party at Jalean's house (if you're reading this, Jalean, you're a great host!). Among the presents Ashley received, which included a kickass Sandman graphic novel set, was, I think, a bottle of Bulgari men's perfume mistakenly gifted by Ivy and Sheryl. Dutifully and perhaps anally some might have felt, I immediately remarked that the ideas of "men's perfume" and "women's perfume" were nothing more than artificial constructs. I mean, back when perfume/cologne was discovered/invented, the inventor probably randomly assigned the qualities of "more alcohol-based" to men's perfume and "more oil-based" to women's perfume (I googled the difference) and that was that. It could easily had been the reverse, and we would all be thinking the opposite. If one likes the fragrance, one likes the fragrance. Simple as that, no?

Of course, I'm not saying, "fuck constructs". They do exist for a purpose. They help us in providing meaning and are important tools for us to engage with each other and with the world. I just think that one should be more aware of all the constructs around us, to have our consciousness raised about them, as Dawkins puts it (He makes a great point: There are no Muslim/Christian/Buddhist/insert religion children, only children of Muslim/Christian/Buddhist/insert religion parents). And know that sometimes, concepts and beliefs of right or wrong or what's normal and what's not are as arbitrary and non-axiomatic as constructs like "Asian Values" (a meaningless phrase the government and right-wing/neo-con ST forum writers love to throw out to excuse any of their actions with regards to censorship/gay rights/any other social/political progress issue) or "Legal Drinking/Voting/Smoking Age" or, hell, even race.

Another example I came across: Apparently, in Australia, they sell reversed maps which show Antarctica on the top, and the North Pole at the bottom. It's kinda a way to remind people that the common perception of the North Pole being 'up' and Antartica being 'down' is entirely a social construct. There isn't an Up or Down side in the universe, after all.

Up/down/left/right, I guess the one thing that never changes is that we can never find Singapore on the map.

Train Etiquette Part Deux

What is it with MRT rides and moral dilemmas? On the same day as this incident, I faced a quandary of my own. It was not rush hour, but the train was still packed like NTUC FairPrice on the last day before 7% GST took effect. Because I had boarded an east-bound train at an 'ulu-er' (local speak for remote) stop, I found a seat before the slave rats of Raffles Place/City Hall/Bugis flooded the train. At one of these stop, this woman entered the train and situated herself almost right in front of me. She was in her late 30s/early 40s and she had a slightly conspicuous belly.

Oh shit, I thought to myself. It was one of those situations, like when you see a baby in neutral clothing, it's almost impossible to distinguish its gender. Should I or should I not give my seat up? Not giving up a seat to a pregnant lady? Educators will lament the failings of our country's Civics & Moral education (not that they don't anyway). Giving up a seat to a mistakenly identified as pregnant lady? Male sizist supremacist, how dare you! Not every woman with a belly is pregnant, so fuck you! Besides, the Singaporean 'fear of embarrassment' trait lives strong in me.

So, a judgment about the status of the lady had to be made before I could make the seat-giving-up decision.
For the case: The belly, of course.
Against: The old[er] age. Yes, advances to modern medicine has enabled women to give birth at increasingly older ages. But still, you don't see many pregnant 40 year olds in Singapore, do you? The belly was only slightly protruding. She had slightly thick arms and legs, which though by no means fat, were more in line with the look of a hearty lady with a thick waist and thus, belly; usually, pregnant women have bellies, but their arms remain proportionally slim, at least in the early stages of pregnancy. The lady seemed very vivacious, talking energetically with her friends, in a sort-of callous physical manner which seemed unlikely for a mum-to-be fearful of upsetting the stomach/baby. [Note: These are all personal opinioned generalisations on pregnant women. So any mum/mum-to-be reading, I apologise should it be inaccurate in any way!]

This debate raged fiercely in my mind as I remained seated, now closing my eyes permanently (I had begun to nod off even before she boarded), as if trying to create an excuse for my conscience should she really be pregnant. Still, I opened them halfway every ten or so seconds, as if to check if a 'Yes/No, she's pregnant' neon sign had miraculously appeared on her.

Then, salvation arrived. I think it was two or three stops after boarding when pregnant(?) lady alighted the train. Those pangs of guilt slowly began ebbing away, and I slept soundly for the rest of the train journey home.

Train Etiquette

It was the first time I wished I had kept with the times and gotten myself a camera phone; the perfect scenario for a STOMP/ST citizen reporter to arrive at.

I was on the morning rush hour train heading for an 8am(!) dental appointment. Standing, I was facing this seated couple. Chinese, early 20s, bespectacled, heartlanderish. Almost immediately after they sat down, they pulled out a matching pair of [Leading Global Fast Food Chain] fish burgers and nonchalantly began to consume their food. It was probably not the first time they were committing this act of daredevilry, for they went about it in a matter-of-fact and methodical way. The girl ate first; she somehow split the burger into many bite-sized chunks and put them into her mouth piece by piece (less of a mess this way), while continuing to chat with her boyfriend, oblivious to the stares of the commuters around her. It was only when the fair-complexioned, shorts-wearing girl finished her burger that her man commenced chomping on his. He had been holding her burger box, you see. Like I said, they made a well-oiled machine.

If only I had a camera phone; STOMP/Straits Times netizens would have a field biting their heads off if they had seen pictures. Me? As a firm believer in efficacious snack consumption on buses (though I do draw the line at the MRT), who am I to judge?

Anyway, once both finished their burgers, they packed their trash into a plastic bag, and continued to chat happily. The rest of us went back to our music/naps/TODAYs and My Papers/admiration of the MRT floor and our footwear, probably bemused by their brazen behaviour, reserved usually for know-it-all, laws-don't-apply-to-me secondary school kids. It distinguished that day's train ride from the monotony of the usual commute.
__________________________________________________________________

The story doesn't end there though. A few stops later, when the 'What's $5000 in fines to us' couple had already finished their breakfast, a pregnant woman, henceforth referred to as Maternity Lady, boarded our carriage. As there were no seats (Ours was one of the newer trains with seats slashed for more standing room; plus again, rush hour), she stood by the handgrab pole nearest to the one I was holding on to. Now, I'm not sure if the seated passengers facing Maternity Lady were displaying trademark Singaporean lack of civic-mindedness. Many were sleeping, and given the hour, I'd give them the benefit of the doubt that they weren't feigning it.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw our gruesome twosome (GT) discussing something (Yes, I was still sneaking inconspicuous peeks at them, fascinated at how . . . blatant their disregard for laws/stares/norms was, something very unusual for Pavlovian locals). Then, male half of GT stood up, signaled to Maternity Lady, and generously offered his seat. Female GT looked up at him, eyes fawning with adoration at his gentlemanly ways (Ok, I might be editorialising just a tad). Maternity lady declined, however, saying she'd be alighting soon. Guy GT promptly sat back down, to the dismay of scavenger-like office aunties nearby. GT went on with their merry conversation, probably pondering whether to get more traditional hawker fare like chee cheong fun or ham chim pang for the next day's breakfast.

Moral of the story? [Overstatement] There are no good and evil people, only good and evil acts. [/Overstatement]. Or perhaps, [J.K Rowling]Every one is born with the capacity for good and evil. It's our choices which determine who we are. [/J.K Rowling]

Yeah, something like that.